There was I time I thought of myself as “Stormchaser”. It was a label I assigned to offset the difficult times that seemed to follow me as a way of reversing the odds.
I saw myself as not only actively engaging those hard times but as pursuing them in a “if life is suffering and suffering brings enlightenment then, for fucks sack, bring it on” mentality.
I was wrong.
Man, was I wrong.
The hard times pursued like a predator on blood scent and I, tough as the wind, really was bleeding, profusely.
I’ve said before how I’m only now rubbing the sleep from my eyes, but I look back with these blurry eyes and see that young man and rather than think “whaddadouche”, my favorite quote when it comes to ignorance, I can say “good start.”
It really was.
Since then I’ve learned that Life is more often concerned with giving lessons than with leading me to them and that the path of life is much more flexible than I thought.
She is the train
I am the rail
Or more like the spike
Or the ground it’s driven into
Or maybe just a house it passes by
That’s my attempt at Zen poetry, which I’m okay with, in a Zen sort of way.
My point is this:
I have felt the storm.
I feel it now inside me.
I’m not sure it ever goes away.
I’m okay with that.
That, by the way, has nothing at all to do with either Zen philosophy or poetry, it’s who I am.
So right about now you’re probably asking yourself what the hell this post is about so I’ll sum it up in six words …
We find what we are looking for.
… okay, seven words.
Audio: “Stormchaser” by J M Greff
Love you…mr j m greff
🙂 Your love is gratefully received and returned tenfold, Shelley <3
Hmm… The storm is inside of you? Storms require an enormous, colossal, massive, immense amounts of energy. What is feeding that storm?
Me musing about “surrender”, “giving-up” and “accepting authentic self”.
To clarify, I don’t think anyone’s authentic self is inherently bad.
It is fed by a lifetime of experience and is neither “good” nor “bad”. It simply “is”.
Tonight the storm rages. Tomorrow I will harness the energy it releases and focus it on a positive goal and that is the difference between who I am now and the young man that mistakenly romanticized his relationship with the storm.