by J M Greff

Tuesday, 4:30 am

I wake before the sun

Slip quietly out of the bed I’d rather stay in

Walk silently to the bathroom down the hall

Careful not to wake you

I think of you, not forty feet away,

Blissfully asleep as I shower

I imagine waking you with the passion that is yours

Only yours

I step from the hot shower and write your name in the steamy mirror

Smile

Wipe it off and see the man you love looking back at me

I never knew this man before you

Not completely

I know him now

He amazes me as much as you do

He amazes me because he would not exist without you

You have made him better than he ever imagined

I dress in silence

Walk to the kitchen

Make a cup of coffee

Toast

Something healthy to bring with

Always something healthy

So I can live longer with you

I write a note and leave it on the blender

Knowing you’ll see it and smile

Knowing you will think of me and I will smile

I walk to the bedroom in darkness

Sit on the edge of the bed

Breathe you in

Then bend to kiss you softly as I let my hands explore

One touches your face and strokes your hair with adoration

The other slips down your body

Seeks out and finds your treasure

Probes and caresses

You purr and moan lightly

As I remind you of your day

And the love I carry

Always

I taste my fingers and offer you a lingering kiss

Passionate and deep

Another reminder

Of what will come tonight

Then leave for work

With your taste in my mouth

The feel of you on my skin

Your fire in my soul

And love in my heart

by J M Greff

No news is good news

tv-bullet-hole

“News”
Is a modern thing
Based on gossip
And lies
Sent on waves unseen
Carried by sponsors
Who want me to buy
The product they proclaim
Will make my life better
So long as I listen
Or watch
With horror
The news designed
To modify my thoughts

So I don’t

I don’t need anyone to tell me
“The world is ending!”
If that day comes
I won’t need to be told at all
Not at all

Instead I create this place
Where there is no hate
Where there are no lies
No commercials
No sponsors
No hate
No one to tell me “You must”
“You should”
“You can’t”
Only Love
And the intentions of Love
Because nothing else matters

by J M Greff

The Hermit

the.hermit

In the Tarot the Hermit stand alone on the top of a mountain with lantern held out to see and to illuminate. He is both student and teacher and he tells us that the answers we seek can be found within.

The card has two basic meanings;

First; the need to withdraw from society to become comfortable with himself.
Second; the return from isolation to share knowledge with others.

Several years ago I decided to withdraw from the world. There were many reasons for doing this. Some of them were valid. Most were not.

One of the biggest reasons I did this is because being alone hurt. It hurt so much that I became a hermit. Funny animals us humans; we withdraw when we feel alone.

I’d like to tell you that in those years I became wise, all-seeing, all-knowing, but I did not. What I did do is learn much about myself. Where I came from and how that affected who I am. How to reconcile my life experiences with where I was physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

When I raised my lantern on those things that shaped me, there were things that came into focus that made me uncomfortable and though they initially made me want to remain in isolation they also became the things that drew me out of it. By examining each act of rage or insolence or passion or love or joy or whatever, without passing judgment, neither good nor bad, but simply as a thing that happened or that I did, I was able to gain a clearer image of who I was and, more importantly, who I was not.

In that process I learned one simple truth: If you want to be who you are meant to be you must first stop being who you are.

Once I gained that clearer view I began the excruciating and liberating job of dismantling who I was and recreating who I was meant to be. I say “recreating” because I have come to believe that we are born exactly who we are meant to be and life, doing what it does best, getting in the way of living, rewrites that person. We may be raised or live in a way that is destructive and damaging or make mistakes or have experiences that reshape that person, but that original person, the ego-free infant with no concept of time or space or tragedy or love or hate or pain, remains at our core. Always there vying for our attention. Waiting to be realized.

This process is never ending. I am complete and whole but my work, examining and re-examining and freeing those parts of myself locked away and learning to become a better person, will never be done.

I chose to release myself from the isolation last fall. For me the process took seven years. It was long and painful and lonelier than I can possibly express but it was worth it. I am beginning to realize that person I was born as. Become the person you see now. I like this person.

This is not the only way to become a fully realized human. Not even close. It was my way and the methods I chose ran a high risk of failure so I won’t share those methods but for me they were worth the risk.

What I will tell you is that it came down to this one thing: Courage.

If you are not who you want to be all it takes is the courage to forget who you have pretended to be. There is nothing more liberating than being yourself.

I hope your own journey brings you home.

 

 

 

by J M Greff

August 21

Today we enter into the final moments of what I truly hope has been an incredible season of change for each one of us.

I have been working on personal growth and change for a long time now. Years. What I am doing here is just the beginning of the task I have set myself.

As the eclipse passes keep your intentions, the person you want to be, the person you know you are, close to heart. Know, without a doubt, that during this sacred time we are closer to the Divine than we will ever be. That She is listening. That She knows our hearts. That She will listen to every single one of us. That this is as close as we will ever get to truly choosing the direction of our path. To choose who we really are. That the Divine will help us because She want us to be those people. Because She loves us.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the outer edges or nowhere near this event because it’s a global event. Literally. Our moon blocks the sun and our planet lines up behind the moon.

You can not say you weren’t there.

We will all be there.

I’ll see you on the other side.

by J M Greff

This is why I write

 

Since I started publishing my writing I have been getting responses that, to be honest, I don’t really know how to respond to because I had no idea the effect that revealing my soul would have.

After receiving this message from one of my readers (who really should be doing her own writing) that so gracefully sums up everything I have been hearing I have decided that the best I can do is to let each of you know that you are not alone in the way you feel by sharing her words (with her permission, of course).

Every one of us, myself included, longs for the sort of love and passion I so often write about. It’s not just okay to feel that longing, I encourage it. I say embrace it. Let it become the light that shines the way on your path. Let those awakened desires and enflamed passions provoke you to release the person you’ve been keeping locked up out of fear or shame or guilt or doubt or whatever reason it is that you have chosen to lock up that beautiful goddess, the wild woman, child. Let that light bring you to a place where it can join with another or many others and shine the way for everyone you meet. Let it light your world.

My wish for you is that you love. Someone. Everyone. But mostly yourself. Love like there is no tomorrow because Now is all we have and right now you need Love.

You are perfect as you are. You are ready.

You are loved and in that Love we are One.

James

 

 

A longing for the deepest of all connections had taunted her for so long, she had given up…. almost. No longer looking, she resigned herself to a state of perpetual suadade.

What she had learned is this – she couldn’t exist in a relationship that functioned at only a surface level. Long ago she had tried. Talking only about mundane chitty-chat topics, gripes and irritations of the day, silly plans of the next acquisition, negativity, rigidity, disapproval and controlling behavior – she had listened accommodatingly all the while feeling her life force slowly withering. The stilted unease of being with a pessimistic, shallow person was artificial, stifling, claustrophobic. She could no longer breathe. She heard a faint whisper that grew louder and louder until her survivalist instinct was shouting at her, “There is more to life than this!” She finally listened. Love is not a tool used to limit and oppress. Love is a wonderment in its beauty, vast and enveloping with its sweet, gentle warmth, ever-changing, ever-expanding, infinite. She had a clear vision of the type of love she sought, but no idea as to how or where to find it.

Not that she didn’t try. But as she journeyed, each crest presented a glimmering landing that evaporated as she moved towards it. She bemoaned karma for its unwarranted unfairness, repaying her kindness and compassion toward others with but false promise and no substance each and every time. “That kind of love is a mirage,” she defiantly declared. But inner voice be damned, its persistent denial wouldn’t allow her to believe her own lie. Her soul still ached for that rare, ancient connection – two beings recognizing in each other their own self. So unfathomable in its rarity, so unspeakable in its mystery and yet for those who have found it, so complete in its simplicity.

Certain of its existence, she rationalized that perhaps she wasn’t ready. And so tucking it away deep inside, she went on with life. The longing lay dormant yet omnipresent. Alone, but not really lonely, she spent those years observing and reflecting. Where had she been? Where was she going? What was her destiny? Surely it was one of her own making. That she knew. Had she known at the time that each disappointment taught her secrets she needed to move incrementally closer to him, she would have realized that karma is just and never capricious. Only when you are ready will you find that which is your destiny.

And then, she read his words. He spoke to everyone, and yet he spoke only to her reaching deep into the innermost part of her soul. Joyful tears welled as she read and understood completely each and every thought. His introspection, honesty and courage ignited her. The life force flickered and danced within her. I’m not the only being who needs this to feel alive! Without even knowing her, he had offered proof positive that this depth of emotion exists and is a necessity for those who feel it. Resolute, she decided to resume her quest. But first she had to thank him…

Thank you, James, from the bottom of my heart!

***

 

You are so very welcome.

by J M Greff

Beyond here be Monsters

rio.grande.nm

A little piece I wrote this seveal years ago when I was facing the necessity of rejoining “civilized society” after being off-grid and pretty much off the map for a time.

It’s interesting to go back in time and find these little sparks that encouraged the flame within that burns so bright today and to recognize the dark places they came from.

The lesson for me is clear; embrace my past and be grateful for what I learned. But never go back.

___________________________

Here, at the edge of the world, I find contentment and chaos. Old friends, both. Neither expected nor warranted.

I find myself frozen in this pivotal moment. Momentum gathers with the clouds that seem determined to follow.

Not long ago I sent them back to spread their seed of malcontent upon the shoulders of those who manipulated. The cries of their masters, now quelled by the wind that always lives in the canyons where I take refuge, were never heard. I cry instead for them.

Here, where the Universe Herself sings with such beauty that my soul aches to touch Her just once again. Such things may not exist.

Here, I am at peace.

Here, standing at the brink, I wonder; Stand or Fall.

Beyond here lay the rest of the Pack, ferocious and cunning and ready. I will join them for now, but they will know; I do not belong.

My guise will last, my purpose will be fulfilled, and I will flee to the Refuge of Love with Life renewed and Balance, at long last, achieved.

I will stand.

Light within.
Love and Life beside.

The view at the edge really is not so bad.

 

Image by J.M.Greff