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This morning



I lay in bed this morning
and tried to imagine you there.
Would you be facing me?
Would I feel your breath on me?
Do you lay on your back?
Your belly?
Or would your back be to me?
What sounds would you be making?
Soft mewls like a kitten?
Loud and long?
Silent shallow breath?
If I whispered to you
would you respond?
Would you speak the words
I long to hear?
Would my name be on your lips?
Could I kiss those lips
to coax those words?
Could I kiss your neck
your back
your breasts
your belly
without waking you?
How many kisses would it take before you did?
If I reached out to touch you
how far could I explore?
How deep?
Would you respond to my touch?
If I pressed my growing hardness against you
would you press back?
Would you spread your legs just a little
as you slept?
Would you wake with a smile?
Invite me in?
Or would you pull away?

I will have those answers soon.
I will wake in the morning
hard with dreams of you.
Your name on my lips.
Your warmth
and your scent
mixed with mine.
The taste of you in my mouth.
Instead of this meager imagination
that drives my hand
to reach out to emptiness
as if you were there
and touches
only myself
I will feel you next to me
under me
driving my passion
deep inside
and we will know.





  1. Reading this is uplifting and gut wrenching. Gut wrenching because I and, I am sure, many others have never experienced this kind of adoration. In fact for me, quite the opposite. Uplifting, because I didn’t think love and adoration like this existed. Now I know it is not an unreasonable expectation!

    Why do so many people live in fear of this kind of love? Oh, not necessarily the physical piece although that is part of it, but… Maybe it is my idyllic way of thinking, the world would be a much different place if we could love someone with half this much curiosity and devotion.

    Though my experience suggests people are just as afraid of receiving this kind of love as they are giving it…

    • I think too many men have denied themselves and their Beloved this sort of passion because they fear it somehow makes them appear weak (very much the opposite, guys, this is what strength looks like) and those who do feel and act this way have been sort of pushed aside because we don’t fit this skewed perspective of what a “real man” looks like.

      It does require not only someone who is able to receive it, like you said, but who is also capable of reciprocating.

      The good news is that we are out here and most of us are alone.

  2. Good god, how is it you are still single? Hundreds of women (especially your age) are desperate to find a man with the authenticity, honesty, passion, sensitivity and understanding you write with. One would think they’d be banging down your door.
    Well, keep writing like this and soon you’ll have her! And the rest of us will wish we were her…….

    • What I have learned and am trying to share here I have learned mostly from failure. I wouldn’t be alone if it were otherwise.

      Plus, I live in a small trailer in a dirt field behind a welding shop 120 miles from the closest reasonable facsimile to a city lol

      No one will be banging down my door any time soon πŸ™‚

      • You’ve learned to be a better man, a more whole person who seems to realize the truth of what’s been told – of us being spiritual beings having a human experience. So if that failure has taught and brought you to a place of love, acceptance, beauty and gratitude, is it (was it?) ever a failing? Or was it just a step you needed to take, a lesson you needed to learn, to get to this point on your journey. Perhaps your caravan needed to be just one for a while (plus a big old brown dog) in order to see and feel what you’ve seen and felt….with no distractions. There’s always so many choices we’ve made or failed to make that leave us all wondering how our lives would of or could of turned out differently. But in the end, one needs to trust that we are exactly where we are meant to be I suppose. Or is that just a worn out platitude to comfort ourselves? And I’m not sure if it’s our human nature or our spiritual nature that leaves us yearning for more, for connectedness, for sharing the journey.

      • I believe we are always where we are meant to be (though rarely where we want to be). For me that meant isolating myself for several years while I rediscovered who I am and to find and learn the lessons in those failures. I only recently came out of that isolation.

        I don’t mind calling them failures even though I’ve grown because of them since they couldn’t possibly be called successes. So I choose to be grateful for them instead because the person I am now is a direct result of how I responded to those things and I actually like this person.

        I do believe we are designed to love and be loved. For that connectedness. For true union. Hard things to find in todays culture. The good news is that while the local community has all but disappeared and loneliness is now deadlier than heart disease or violence, the global community has grown. Connections are now possible from anywhere in the world. We need to adapt to those changes. There really is no turning back. That’s why I’ve chosen to share myself in this way. If the best we can do, at least until we adapt more fully to those changes, is make those connections and express those needs and desires in places like this then its a start.

        As for me, being alone now is just delayed gratification in a way. I’ve done the work I should have done long ago. When the day comes that I am no longer alone, and I have no doubt that day will come, I will be prepared. If in sharing my Self and what I’ve learned I help others to find their own sense of balance or to acquire a little inner peace or to ignite their passion or create within them a driving desire for a higher love or just to let them know they are not alone, that you are not alone, then I will have done my part to make the world just a little friendlier, a little more compassionate, and a little more loving place to live.

        Big hopes for an old dude in a little trailer but if you’re going to dream, dream big πŸ™‚

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