I bought an electric guitar today. A base model. Cheap as fuck. Raw. It will need more than a few hours of refining to make playable but has all the right stuff.
It’s an attempt to start a fire. A blaze. An inferno. Or, perhaps, just a spark.
I feel like I’ve abandoned my creative self. Walked away from him. I suppose that comes as a natural side effect of leaving my life behind so many times. Giving things away or just leaving them behind.
Every time you walk away you leave pieces of yourself behind. Walk away enough times and all you have left are the empty places the pieces once fit.
I miss my Self.
So I’ve been piecing my life back together. Bit by bit. An opsak for my hiking gear. Yoga blocks. An IO for my computer so I can play the second hand keyboard I bought. Cords for my studio mic. Paper to draw on. Pens to draw with. Little by little over the last year I’ve been piecing my life back together in hopes that the embers become a spark that ignite the raging creative vapor that eludes me. Drifting on winds of my own making. Sucked up by the vacuum I created by leaving voids where I once lived.
Maybe it will work. Soon. I hope. Or not soon. Whenever. I’d be okay with whenever.
Either way, I will strike the flint and tend the pieces I have gathered as they are fed with the oxygen of my efforts and I will see what happens.
Image by WrongTog.