It’s okay, Love
It’s okay
Lean back into me
Let me wrap my arms around you
Rock you gently
Kiss your neck
Silence the day
With wordless passion
As we watch the Moon
Now round and full
Light the clouds that gather
and will away the worry
With love
Image by Bruno Lemos
It’s 3:33 am. The witching hour.
There’s a lot of nonsense that goes along with numbers. Especially repeating numbers. Among the nonsense are some very few truths.
Truth #1 – 3:33 am is too damn early to wake up – I don’t care who or where you are, this, I believe, comes as close to a universal truth as I can imagine. Right next to “stubbing your barefoot toe on a raised piece of sidewalk sucks ass”.
Truth #2 – 3:33 am is the witching hour – This truth is best taken with a grain of salt or, if you have high blood pressure, with a graham cracker and a glass of goat milk – Historically, it is the time when the veil between worlds is the thinnest. When dreams are best shared or traveled. When the spirits of other planes are most easily contacted. Don’t ask me why this is, I have never found a reasonable explanation, but it is the time when most serious occultists do their most serious work. It’s when I do my own work, like this piece, and other… stuff.
Truth #3 – Waking at specific times or noticing specific times when glancing at a clock is a way for the subconscious (read: NOT angels) to pass messages to the conscious. We make connections to these inferences and interpretations in our waking hours and our subconscious, which is a far better keeper of time than we give it credit for, tells us, “Hey, Nimrod, look at the clock. It’s 11:11. Time for a change. Maybe get off yer ass and follow through on your workout goal or something useful, eh?”
I get that number a lot.
So here it is, 3:33 am, or it was when I first woke anyway, now it’s like 5:20, which is 4:20 somewhere, which is a whole different number, and to be honest I’m a little confused because I have never (consciously) agreed on the meaning of 3:33 so I have no idea what message my subconscious is sending me except this: It’s too damn early.
And now it’s too late to go back to bed… maybe it is witches.
Today is the Autumn Equinox. Day and night are of equal length for a few days and then the days will become shorter.
It is the time of harvest. When we reap what we have sown and labored so hard to produce. It is a time of harmony and balance. When everything is exactly as it is supposed to be.
Seeing that balance isn’t always easy so I’m going to refer to the Oxford Dictionary to help:
bal·ance [ˈbaləns] NOUN 1. an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady: "slipping in the mud but keeping their balance" · synonyms: stability · equilibrium · steadiness · footing
I appreciate the example they provide, “slipping in the mud but keeping their balance”. I can relate to that. It defines balance as tenuous yet firm. Precarious and cautionary but upright and steady.
Balance doesn’t mean sure footed. In fact, I am most likely to be seeking better footing when balance is even, but slip and slide aside, I remain upright.
Tonight I celebrate that balance and while I do it while physically alone, I do it forging ahead with plans to join my Beloved.
The past and future are even tonight and beginning tomorrow the days grow shorter and each shortened day brings me closer to her.
Whether you call this day Mabon, The Second Harvest, Wine Harvest, Feast of Avalon, Winter Finding, or, my personal favorite, Cornucopia, I wish that this Autumn Equinox finds you in harmony and balance with all that you do and that your own harvest is as rich as my own.
Image: “Effervescent” by Christina Rivera
Time is as often friend as foe. It flows steadily. Never ending. We can tell ourselves that it is an illusion. That only “Now” exists. But that’s a half truth. Now is the only place we exist but we live in a progression of time. In our human form we have a beginning and an end. We are born, we live, we die. What happens in between is a combination of circumstances and events guided by will or careless indifference and interpreted by intention and understanding or misunderstanding.
I chose to embrace that knowledge some time back. To acknowledge that I had a beginning. That this body will at some point fail. That how I live now is entirely up to me. Not everyone gets that choice. Some are born into short and brutal lives. Some never get the chance to live at all.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I see glimpses from time to time. Beautiful sunrises and sunsets in the arms of my Beloved. Compassionate days that flow into passionate nights. A flow of energy between us that builds and shares and expands. Perpetual. Timeless.
I want those things.
Time, however, often chooses the pace and, thus, can affect the quality of Now… if we allow it to. Plans made need to be shuffled again and again before they can be implemented and even then I must remain flexible to last second alterations.
This is where I am now: Making the best of unexpected changes. Unexpected changes making the best of me. Guiding the future with intention and understanding with one difference, mutual desire.
Not the base and often destructive sexual or sensual desire of immature love, though certainly that exists, how can it not? I do desire the physical connection of my lover. Intensely. More than that, however, is the desire to give and receive love. Physical. Emotional. Psychological. Spiritual. To create something together under the guidance of those intentions of compassion, connection, union, care, growth, and so much more that I so often describe as simply “love and gratitude” and through those intentions build something lasting. Eternal. Timeless.
Today the flow of Now across which time passes and at the edge of which I exist is both friend and seeming foe. It prevents immediate satisfaction of our goals. Blocks access to the woman I love. But every second that passes brings me ever closer to her and to Divine Union with her. In this it can only be considered friend.
I could focus on the obstacles or focus on the goal. The choice is made easy by these facts:
The obstacles are temporary.
Love is timeless.
I choose love.
Image: from the “Timeless” series by Moe Shirani
I recently received a message from a reader who shared with me a list of “Words that should be a part of everyone’s day.”
Its a beautiful list of words and feelings that I hope we all find good reason (or at least make excuses) to use as often as possible.
If you’ve spent any time reading what I write you have a pretty good idea of the words and their connected feelings and emotions that I use every day.
What follows are on Gretchens list, reprinted here with her permission. I will leave this on my front page a few days before adding my own words, but in the meantime I would like to know; what words are in your list?
Words to live with:
Sweet
Gentle
Kissing
Touching
Romantic
Tender
Loving
Sensual
Seductive
Inviting
Arousal
Wonder
Passionate
Mouthwatering
Intoxicating
Delicious
Exquisite
Erotic
Fire
Fierce
Tasting
Moaning
Sweaty
Beautiful
Exhausted
Spiritual
Intertwined
Breathing
Sleep
Soulmates
Please post your list in the comments and then do your best, as I will, to keep them in mind as we go throughout our days… and our nights.
How I wish you were here.
Or I there with you.
Not this distance.
This painful punishment of purpose.
Unfair actions of the Universe
creating love at distance.
Impossible miles
increased by insurmountable odds
of our own creation.
Of my creation.
The price paid
for becoming me.
Damn this misfortune.
This condemnation.
The Divine has no right.
If love is her intention
then why the obstruction?
Seething with silent melancholy
I step to the mirror
and gaze at that man.
See beyond those feelings.
Beyond the frustrations.
Beyond the need for blame.
I am sure.
Confident.
I am loved.
I am servant to the Divine,
and have served her well,
this is not punishment.
Not misfortune.
Not condemnation.
Those are words
that describe how I feel.
They come from within.
Not from the Divine
whose only purpose is Love
and creation.
I will the miles to evaporate.
Command the distance to dissipate.
Speed the flow of time.
Increase the range of my love
to envelop even from here
my love so far away
and a life I have yet to live
knowing that we will succeed.
But still,
I wish you were here.
