To you

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I have given so much
Time
Money
Attention
Trust
Dignity
Intention
Appreciation
Intention
Respect
Affection

I’ve been bled dry
By bill collectors
The legal system
Doctors
Exes
Politics
Policies
Procedures
Life

I have given what I couldn’t spare
More than I could afford
Too often more than I had
To jobs without potential
People without appreciation
Religions without faith
Hearts without atonement
Souls that swallowed me whole
and left me for dead

In all the years of giving
All I received in return
Is a cornucopia of lessons
Most of them painful
That I carry
And share
Grateful for having learned them

All I have left to give
Are the words of my song
The breath in my body
The beat of my heart
The heat of my soul

All I have left
is Love

I give it to you

———————-

Image: unnamed by Teresa on Flickr

Now

Now is all we ever have.

But in this moment,

here,

now,

I can’t help gazing into the future

to see us,

together,

there,

now,

looking back on us,

here,

encouraging us,

“Keep moving forward.”

We hold the keys to that future.

Unlocking that door

is worth the effort.

The day will come when we are together,

there,

now,

looking back at us,

here,

encouraging us

“Move forward.”

“All you have is Now.”

An instrument of peace

“Lord, make me an instrument of peace.”

With that single line St Francis defined a life of mindfulness and loving kindness long before those terms were first used. Long before pop culture turned them into an industry. A t-shirt slogan.

He goes on to describe how that instrument looks. It is one of understanding and giving. A life in service of love.

“Lord make me an instrument of peace

Where there is hatred let me sow love

Where there is injury, pardon

Where there is doubt, faith

Where there is despair, hope

Where there is darkness, light

And where there is sadness, joy

Oh divine master grant that I may

not so much seek to be consoled as to console

to be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love

For it is in giving that we receive

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life”

This is how I want my life to be yet I often fail in these intentions. Instead, I want to be understood. To be consoled. To wade deeply in my sorrow. To be loved despite my shortcomings.

When I find myself on the needy end of the spectrum that runs from giving to receiving I remember that I can not only offer these gifts to myself, I should.

My efforts to be an instrument of peace must begin with myself because to offer peace to others I must first have it within me. The good news is that inner peace is often gained in the offering of it to others. It is a beautiful, endless, self-sustaining circle.

This was my meditation this morning:

That I forgive myself and not beat myself up for being human.

That I keep strong the faith that brought me here.

That I keep the flame of hope ever burning within me to light both bright days and dark nights.

That I be willing to find and feed my joy, especially when it seems so far away.

That I love myself as I wish to be loved by others and that I share that love regardless of my pain.

That peace isn’t just something we feel, it’s something we practice.

I believe I need more practice.

Peace be upon you.

There is a place

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There is a place
Where feelings
are as solid as a tangerine
and just as sweet
Where the warm breeze
on an autumn noon
cools salty skin
with the whispered voice of nymphs
Where the sound of the owl
blends with the melody of trees
and crickets
and laughing children
like a chorus
Where the scent of wild lavender
and citrus
and ancient oaks
that stretch beyond the endless horizon
can be tasted on the air
Where the senses are so keen
that the march of an ant
is heard above the roar of a plane
the breath of a bird
becomes a song
the beating hearts
and working legs
of a caterpillar
tap out staccato beats
as it crunches on a leaf

Where the passing of time
is controlled by will
to keep the sun and moon
close

It is a place
where the touch of my lover
is like the hand of God herself
and her kisses
are each a blessing

I am in that place

 


 

Image: “Lucid” by Ozan Vural

always

transcendence_by_kelogsloops-Hieu

my lips long to kiss you
     the taste of you
    electric

my hands desire to hold you
     the feel of you
    a dream state

my body craves to join you
     the touch of you
    nirvana

my soul is moved by you
     the essence of you
    transcendent

you are the light
in the dark night
     that makes clear
     the muddy path

the cool wind that whispers
in the slowing heat
     “I am with you”
     “I am with you”
  “I am yours”

you are all I ever wanted
     and more
    more
   so much more

come with me
     now
     here with me
          stay with me
          stay

          always

Image: “Transcendence” by Hieu

waves

like a tide drawn by the moon

to a familiar shore

I roll into the warmth of you

to blanket you in a fevered passion

that remains ignited from the night before

the intoxicating musk of us

still strong on your delicate skin

the scent of a promise fulfilled

draws me nearer

I slide my leg over you

caress your back with soft kisses

your legs with light touch

your heart with intention

I travel the length of you slowly

with my hands and lips

and kiss those places

I want to know

as well as I know myself

my mouth seeks moist pleasure

and finds inviting treasure

the taste of you

sweet and warm

intoxicates

drives me to heightened fervor

as your breath quickens

your body tightens

and with a cry like a song

that sets my spirit on fire

you release yourself to me

awash in the warm glow of us

I cradle you in my arms

bathe in the light of our joined soul

and rock you slowly

like the gentle waves

as the tide goes out

————-

Image: “Hookipa Waves” by Bill Devlin

Hideaway


A hazy mist
Rich with opium and jasmine
Filters the light
Of scented candles
That flicker and play
On your shadow
That sways and rolls
To paint the naked walls
Of my modest rooms
With images of ecstatic fervor
As you dance without knowing
The affect of your mesmerizing movement
To songs only our joined soul knows
Invoking thoughts
Of distant lands
Where the streets
Are imbued with spice,
Where the rising of the sun
Reflected in triplets,
The setting of the moon
On the endless sea,
Even the passing of a cloud
Through ice blue skies,
Is celebrated with honor
And there is no one left in the world
but Us


Video: “Shanti” by SacredFire