Almost a year ago I chose to move to Mobile to pursue the possibility of a committed relationship.
I learned quite a bit about love from that relationship and from the bond that remains.
Almost three months ago I made a decision to stay in Mobile to accelerate my training as an independent insurance adjuster instead of heading back North to earn enough money to carry me through until I get deployed.
In those three months I have learned ten times as much as I’ve learned in the last year and I have gained numerous certifications, but I have not worked a single day.
As I write this I lay alone in bed in the rooms I pay for through barter. I don’t know when, or even if, I will get deployed. I don’t know if my car, which I repaired with tape and a prayer after it started on fire due to faulty wiring, will last another month, or a week, or even through tomorrow. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep gas in it. I don’t know if I will ever reach my next goal of turning of writing full time.
While these things and more can and certainly do cause me some stress they do not represent my future nor do they rule how I feel today.
Those decisions I made, to move here and to stay, were based on hope and faith and love and a strong desire and the will to create positive change in my life and because of this they were the right choices regardless of how they turn out.
So all those things I don’t know are really no different than not knowing if I will get struck by a meteor tomorrow, and I don’t see any reason to worry about it.
If I could share just one thing I’ve learned in life it would be this:
I am not defined by the things that happen to me but by how I respond to them.
Am I stressed? Yes.
Will I get through this? Absolutely.
Is this my life? Well, yes. It is.
Am I grateful? Always.