Time and Love
Time. For many years I thought I would have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do. Hike the Continental Divide. Sail to the Galapagos. Explore pre-Mayan ruins.
For most of those years I literally avoided those things. I put myself in situations that made achieving them impossible.
Today, I want none of them. Sure, it would be great to take 6 months to hike the CDT, but it’s no longer at the top of my list. Something far more important and meaningful is; Love.
At the same time that I was avoiding those physical accomplishments I was also largely avoiding the spiritual as well and there is nothing more spiritual than Love.
For the last several years I have focused entirely on those spiritual needs. Learning who I was, who I am, and who I am meant to be. Learning how to love and be loved. How to embrace compassion. To forgive. To be grateful. All of these are forms of Love.
I’m not saying none of those things existed before, they do in all of us to some extent, only that I learned how to do them right. With purpose. Intention. It’s one thing to love, it’s an entirely different thing to Love with intention.
Loving intentionally means to love beyond the constraints of emotion. It is a deep, spiritual love that affects everything I do from the moment I wake to the last second of my waking day. It is something I share with everyone I encounter. Everyone.
It is a good way to live. Love is it’s own reward.
I won’t regret that it’s taken so long for me to discover these things because I have discovered and learned them Many people do not.
I do, however, wish I had taken the time to learn them sooner because they have made my life better. Made other people’s lives better.
If there is one lesson above all others that I would share it is this: You do not have enough time. Not for everything.
Nor is it ever too late.
Choose well the things you want in life and from life and to give to life.
And put Love on the top of the list.
My first impulse is to say “I love this post!”. I think I say that every time I log on to your blog. I’m taking a new tact, this post provokes the urge to *feel* into it. I have wanted to do so many things in life. Most of my family and friends would say, “Why haven’t you made them happen?!” Here is why, because love has been at the top of my to do list for many, many years.
It is easy to say love is the answer. You can say this in thousands of ways, but what is love as action? what is love? what is the feeling of love? Oh, I have answers that I have provided myself. I have moments when I do something that comes with that warm fuzzy feeling, but I also know there is no final answer.
I would be inspired by where you and your’ followers find love. What is love for you? We all experience it so differently, understanding other people’s perspective can only help us bring more love into the world.
I think M. Scott Peck’s definition from The Road Less Travelled is the most accurate definition I have ever found: “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”
Love is always a choice and an action. The feeling of love is a simple release of chemicals designed to make us want to procreate or to repeat those actions and lead us down the path to deeper and more meaningful relationships with ourselves, with others, and with the Divine.
That is a very interesting definition. We’ve had this conversations somewhere over the last month of your posts. I feel like our ideas are quite valid, yet we are missing each other. My experience has been that what is appreciated by me as a loving gesture is not always appreciated by another person. While my gesture may have the intention of extending myself for the purpose of nurturing another’s spiritual growth, I have experienced that gesture causing much angst and loss of standing in the other persons eyes. I don’t care what they think of me, but to have a gesture of love rebuked is tough. I’m not always looking for that rush of chemicals either, but that kind of response is confusing.
Another example from my personal life is I have found myself in situations where to show someone how much I love them I need to get out of the way. I am very good at this. Who is to say this isn’t love in certain situations? I suppose my thoughts and questions come from this perspective… I am trying to find more positive ways to show this… to raise the vibration of others and myself.
Love is always an action. It can’t be any other way. Take my blog for example: My writing is an act of love. I extend myself across is amazing vast distance of the web. Share what I know about love and loving and pain and loss. How to live mindfully. To be always prepared. Not all of it is taken as intended. Not everyone who reads it gets that it’s an act of love. Hose things matter less than the act itself. Love is it’s own reward. Love gives not but of itself and expects not from itself. I’m sure I’m misquoting someone there but the point is valid.
Love is something we do to make our life and the life of others better. There is no guarantee it will be returned. In fact, expecting something in return means we are doing it wrong.
When it’s done right it doesnt matter if it’s rebuked. You loved and that’s what matters.
This does not mean you keep tying to create something that doesn not exist. You can keep living a person long after you have nothing to do with them. I actually recommend that.
Just love. Expect nothing. Offer it without condition. And you will benefit from it greatly.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. You are a great coach on how to love 🙂 I need to let go of the expectation. By your ideas, my entire life revolves around sharing love with so many people. Maybe what I really need to learn is how to experience and accept other peoples’ love for me. Today I am dedicating my blog (for the moment) to my journey to realize love for myself. Action… it is easy to do for others; for myself… I’m working on it.