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While out for a walk one day

Walking down the sidewalk My left foot feels like its sinking

Falling in sand
I wonder if it’s the broken sidewalk

Then I wonder if my hip is too long
Or maybe too short on this side

I don’t know
So I extend my stride
From the other leg thinking

I bet I look like an asshole
Strutting his pride
So I take it slow

Cross the street if I’m seen
Because people notice shit like that
And I don’t want to be noticed

Or maybe it has nothing at all
To do with bones or bone structure
Maybe im just sort of
Blind in my left eye
Or light sensitive in the other

Man if the sun just wouldn’t shine
Then this wouldn’t be an issue
I’m sure I wouldn’t even notice
Nor be noticed by anyone else

Me sliding slowly sideways
Squinting at the clouds
Like they shined with nuclear rage
And yes
There it is
That fucking heat

I know it’s there
Because its making me sweat
Like no human sweats
Like a whole damn football team
In the heat of august
In Mobile

I know people see that
Hell how could they miss it
Water is running off my face
Like im walking in the rain
Not that they’d question why

What with my gimped limp
And my dead eye
Guiding me like a drowning man
And I know they hear it
In my speech
Since im babbling to myself as
I record this horrible mess

Slurring from the right side of my face
Like a stroke victim
Because my mouth doesnt seem to work right
So the words that come out of it
Mush together all blurred and broken
But it’s okay

Because all these steps I take
And all this sweat I make
And all these words I fake
Just don’t mean anything to anybody

Not even me

Written February 2020. Image by author.

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