Being yourself means being honest with yourself. I sometimes forget that and fall into the trap of “this is who I want to be” or “this is what I want to believe to be true”.
Those feelings are based on opportunity, desire, and a hundred other feelings that stand in opposition to truth and love and they ultimately lead to internal conflict and pain and obfuscate the Self.
I remind myself
I am also part of “the world”
that tries so hard
to make me something else
something less than myself
revealed to me
by simply standing back
from what others might see
or believe to be
in order to hear my reflection say
“This is who I am”
not what I want to see
or want to be
or what others believe
but what I know to true
and though what I see
may not yet be who I am
trying so hard to become
I can see that person
looking back at me
and I say to him
“You are perfect just as you are”
Life has been hard on you. It has given you challenges you never expected. Pushed you to do things you never thought you would do. It has kicked you when you were down. Stomped on you. At some point it convinced you that you are unworthy. Less than perfect.
Yet here you are, embracing those imperfections. Finding strength in courage and hope. You are authentic. Unafraid to be vulnerable. Honest with others and with yourself. Compassionate. When life knocks you down you simply get back up and proclaim, “You hit like a bitch.”
You have uncaged your wild nature and embraced the divine feminine.
You are a goddess.
You deserve the worship and love of a warrior. A god.
He will support you. Go out of his way to show his appreciation and his love in every way he can. He will dance with you while doing dishes. Kiss you long and deep without reason. Ride the stupid spirit wagon with you at your kids football game just because you are on it.
He will caringly touch and lovingly kiss all those areas, physical, mental, spiritual, that are hard for you to reach or uncomfortable for you to touch alone.
When you are down he will help you up. When you are up he will raise you higher. When life hands you shit he will make fertilizer from it, plant seeds in it, wash it from you, and put you to bed with soft words and hard passion.
He will reflect those things in you that make you a goddess without fear. You will see yourself in him and you will like what you see. You can be vulnerable around him because he will never take advantage of you. Never use your vulnerability against you. Because he is also vulnerable.
He will bring out the best in you by being his best. Only his best is good enough for you.
He will encourage and help you to grow and in doing so grow with you. Not separately. Not as competition. Together. As One.
He will do these things because he wants to. Not because he needs to. Not because he feels obligated. Because he wants to. He wants to because he loves you.
You are a goddess, you deserve to be loved like one.
Image: “The Fountain of Love” by Jean Honoré Fragonard, c. 1785
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
– Albert Einstein
We spend our lives waiting for and expecting miracles. A big win in the lottery or a suitcase full of money. Someone to love. Someone who will love us back.
We lament and regret and doubt and rage at all that we don’t have without ever once realizing that what we do have is the most amazing gift that we could ever have; Life.
Your life may be painful. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. It may feel empty. Meaningless. Pointless. Fruitless. But the fact that you are reading these words, wherever you are, is an absolute miracle and I am amazed and ever grateful that you are. It means I am not alone. I am not empty or meaningless. It means the love I send out into the world is being received which also means that you are being loved.
Once you stop expecting miracles from outside and accept that you are the miracle you’ve been waiting for you start treating yourself with the care and compassion you deserve and things begin to change.
Instead of waiting around to win the lottery you become grateful for what you have no matter how meager or extravagant. You discover that money has no real meaning. Yes, we all have bills and need to eat and pay rent but do we really need the brand new car? The too big house with the too big payment? Not really. We buy them either because they make us look good or make us feel good and then we pray for a suitcase of money to pay for them.
When you see yourself as a miracle you start to respect yourself. Treat yourself with honor and dignity. You even begin to love yourself and no longer “need” love from someone else but want to share it. To extend yourself and commit yourself to making your life and the life of others or another, your partner, better, and in doing so make your own life better.
It’s like this perpetually expanding flood of miracles begins to happen. The things you really need, love, self-respect, positive self image, courage, faith, hope, all begin to manifest and as those things affect others you find people drawn to you and more good things happen. The miracle spreads and mixes and creates and manifests new feelings and new opportunity and new people. People like you; miracles.
Stop waiting around for a miracle because you are the miracle!