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I’m looking for the gratitude but…

There’s a stupid ringing in my ears
My left one mostly
The drum I blew out listening to god knows what
Far louder than anyone should
That made it sound like everyone was talking through wax paper
On a comb
Mister Effin Roboto style
Now it rings
Sometimes loud
Sometimes not so loud
Today it is a raging storm
Like a siren
And just now
Like it wasn’t bothersome enough
It kicked up a notch
I suppose
For tones I no longer hear
And those I’ve temporarily lost
Due to sinus problems
That leave the world smelling like
Like something foul
And nasty
And gives me a headache behind my eye
My left eye of course
The same one I get styes on once in a while
The one with macular degeneration
Scar tissue
From damage caused by welding
And grinding
And all sorts of other jobs
I did to pay the bills
For things I no longer own
Jobs that left my hands susceptible to cold
Like my whole left arm
Which I can’t stick in a bucket of ice without wincing
Ever since I burned it so bad
I needed a skin graft
But that’s another story
Stupid ringing in my ears


It’s funny how just writing about it seemed to make it fade some. Probably endorphins released by laughing at myself sounding like an old codger in his rocking chair yelling at the newspaper boy missing the front door by a foot. “Dammit, kid! Develop your arm already! Try throwing a football once in a while or lifting some weights or some enthusiastic masturbation! Next time I’ll throw it back at you. Right between your eyes!”

Call it practice for old age.

As if all my years will ever make me old.

Now there’s something to be grateful for.


    • Isn’t the human body amazing? We stuff it with plants and animals and minerals and in return we get to use it as transportation and communication and pleasure and all we have to do is be okay with its eventual break down. Not a bad deal 🙂

  1. Ahhhhh tinnitus is not fun…….good to have a rant & release & not bypass our ‘stuff’ that bothers us, that always helps to dissipate the energy, but laughing at ourselves? ALWAYS works!

    • Yes, indeed! I have a healthy habit of laughing at myself though my self deprecating humor can be a little rough at times 😉

      I was just listening to my thoughts while sitting on the porch after work and began laughing at the silly crap floating around up there so I had to share it 🙂

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