No disguise
I feel
No rage
Nor laughter
To hide the pain
No secrets to contain
Nothing left to hide
I give to you
All I’ve kept inside
With neither sadness
Nor even pride
I give you truth
Let you decide
I am bare in your eyes
For you I wear
No disguise
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No words are coming… I want to live this way with everyone. I suppose there is a reason it doesn’t work out like the utopia I would like. In the mean time, I learn to keep my own secrets, put on the mask, but I still feel the real you under your armor and me under mine. It isn’t about stories, although they are wonderful, it is energy for me. What do you feel like? Do you require me to expend my energy to be around you? And so many other unspoken images that happen inside my heart and mind. If we could all let go of ego, could we actually live without the armor?
We all wear masks at times. I wear one at work that is different from the one I wear in a professional setting. It’s okay to do that. It’s right to do that.
I won’t do it here because of what I’m trying to accomplish and I will never wear a mask around my partner, nor will she wear a mask around me, because Love, in it’s purest form, is truth, and truth has no disguise.
My significant other and I have been together for two years. He’s 55 years old. For the first time in his life, he’s comfortable enough, secure enough, and loved enough to not have to wear a mask. Love in it’s purest form is being able to be who you truly are. It’s amazing, emotional and quite frankly, undescribable when you find it.
Yes, we do wear masks. Based on your comment I could make the leap to say, I want to love everyone purely, in truth. My dilemma? I’m not perfect. In addition to learning to wear my mask, I am learning to hold back the love I feel for some people. I have mixed feelings about that.
💜
Marjorie, I was in a marriage for almost 20 years and in that time I was never the Gretchen that I knew was inside of me. When my marriage ended I swore I was never going to do that again … Be someone who has to hide who I really am. In the relationship that I’m in now, we are so open with each other. There is constant communication, tenderness, intimacy and passion in a way that neither of us had experienced before in our marriages. We are exactly who we want to be. I don’t hide behind a mask with him. If I ever do again, then I’m denying myself, and my partner, the real me. I hope that everyone experiences a mask-less love like this.
Thank you Gretchen. I was married for 25 years and squashed myself a little more each day. I was a shell of who I was when I started that marriage when I left it. I am still conducting regular archeological digs trying to find myself and figure out the difference between who is really me and who is the person I had to become to keep things calm at home. I think, that is part of the reason I want to love people so much when I find people with whom I resonate. I don’t want to waste any more time. I think, we show people love differently based on the relationship. I certainly love my son as completely as possible, but my love for him is different than the love I want to share with a life partner. What I am finding is we all experience love so differently. What may be warm nurturing loving gesture to me, is annoying and cloying to someone else. They seem to assume that I have an ulterior motive. That I am trying to replace someone dear to them, or trying to coerce them into something. When I love people, I love them. Occasionally, I act out of patterns from the past. I am working diligently on this. I know masks and various body armor are necessary, but I look forward to experiencing the kind of love you describe. Reality is different from my idyllic way of wanting to see things. I keep hoping maybe I can change my little bubble of life so that people here in my world can live without their disguise. Especially the people that are here because we do have some love for each other. Professional me is different than personal me. Now that I think about it, that is a very good thing because I would be illegal if I took the love to far in my profession! After writing all this, I am trying to say, if we could just let our egos relax and stop the hyper vigilance we could love each other with more purity. Not completely bare as James so eloquently describes, but if we could leave the pride, the sadness, the defense reflex out of it, I believe we could feel each other’s love with more certainty and less skepticism. To me that would be like… visiting the creek that lives between cement walls and runs under roads through a city and visiting a deliciously free crystal clear creek running down the mountain side laughing, jumping and skipping over rocks while sustaining life.
Thanks Gretchen for sending me down that rabbit trail 🙂
It sounds to me like you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. Loving true can be done even in your professional world. Yes, it takes on a different aspect, a mask of sorts, but it is still love. I know you’ll find the sort of connected love you want simply because you are aware of it and of your desire to have it. It is when our masks fool ourselves that we can’t attain it and you make no attempts to conceal yourself from your Self.
Love and hugs to you, Marjorie! 💜💜