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after a lifetime of drifting
on this empty sea
carried by winds
of misfortune
and currents
of indecision
past welcoming shores
and island oasis
where the promise of life
is witnessed
but unfulfilled
this tiny tattered raft
cursed home for far too long
tossed on waves
of my own making
that crash and pound
threatening to upset
the tenuous balance
of need and desire
once sustained
by faith in a wisdom
greater than my own
now settles to calmer seas
fanned by a wind
of Divine intervention
to keep steady course
by tenacious degrees
of hope
will
courage
and conviction
to beach upon the paradisaical coast
of an island named
Beloved
where the oceans turbulent breath
settles to an intimate whisper
of affection
the waves dance tenderly
on halcyon shores
lit by fires of passion
and the sun shimmers
on rippled depths
teaming with life
I set my foot on stable ground
the path revealed in a touch
advance to a berth
with solid foundations
of care and compassion
far inland
from the tempest of my past
I enter with calm chaos
this new home
so familiar
by the hearth
in the glow of Eros
true love stands
eyes teared
arms wide
heart open
soul ablaze
I step into her embrace
my mind is set to ease
my soul finds connection
my heart beats again
and I know
I am
at last
Home

 

Image: “Home” by Joe Maccer

 

One with you

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A promise spoken to the wind
Flowing across the miles
Past open meadows
Concrete and steel
Forest and mountain
To rest on your lips
A thousand miles away

Two candles in the dark
Lighting the path to the other
Clearing the way
As they glide through the darkness
Effortlessly
Uniting in the night
Lighting the way for others

Two drops of rain
Meeting in an ocean of awareness
Separate in the fall
Unique amongst them all
Joining there
With all that ever was
And ever will be

One with you

 

Image: “Zeitgest 1” By Dana Lynn Anderson

Time and Love

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Time. For many years I thought I would have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do. Hike the Continental Divide. Sail to the Galapagos. Explore pre-Mayan ruins.

For most of those years I literally avoided those things. I put myself in situations that made achieving them impossible.

Today, I want none of them. Sure, it would be great to take 6 months to hike the CDT, but it’s no longer at the top of my list. Something far more important and meaningful is; Love.

At the same time that I was avoiding those physical accomplishments I was also largely avoiding the spiritual as well and there is nothing more spiritual than Love.

For the last several years I have focused entirely on those spiritual needs. Learning who I was, who I am, and who I am meant to be. Learning how to love and be loved. How to embrace compassion. To forgive. To be grateful. All of these are forms of Love.

I’m not saying none of those things existed before, they do in all of us to some extent, only that I learned how to do them right. With purpose. Intention. It’s one thing to love, it’s an entirely different thing to Love with intention.

Loving intentionally means to love beyond the constraints of emotion. It is a deep, spiritual love that affects everything I do from the moment I wake to the last second of my waking day. It is something I share with everyone I encounter. Everyone.

It is a good way to live. Love is it’s own reward.

I won’t regret that it’s taken so long for me to discover these things because I have discovered and learned them  Many people do not.

I do, however, wish I had taken the time to learn them sooner because they have made my life better. Made other people’s lives better.

If there is one lesson above all others that I would share it is this: You do not have enough time. Not for everything.

Nor is it ever too late.

Choose well the things you want in life and from life and to give to life.

And put Love on the top of the list.

Hurry home, Love

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I want you
I want you here
Lights dim
Candles lit
Soft music
No distraction
Unadulterated affection
Innocent seduction
Sexual and trusting
A word
A touch
A kiss
I want your breath on my neck
Your hands on my back
Your whisper in my ear
Your legs wrapped around me
Tell me, are you near?
Are you really coming here?
I reach out to touch you
Find you reaching back
Touching me
Touching you
So many things
Going through my mind
That come from places
Far beyond
Any I’ve ever travelled
Because they are places
that can not be travelled alone
Hurry home, Love
Hurry home

 

Image: “Sweet Summer” by Zana Soul

 

Slide into you

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I want to slide into you
To feel us merge
Become One
Through the joining of two
A gentle blending of souls
That slips seamlessly
Into a single light
That shines
Brighter than either does alone

 

Image: credited as “Be love from your heart” by Cameron Grey but I am unable to verify this and have doubts since it’s missing some of his trademark insignia like a scorpion. Help would be appreciated on this one.

 

You are the miracle

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“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
– Albert Einstein

We spend our lives waiting for and expecting miracles. A big win in the lottery or a suitcase full of money. Someone to love. Someone who will love us back.

We lament and regret and doubt and rage at all that we don’t have without ever once realizing that what we do have is the most amazing gift that we could ever have; Life.

Your life may be painful. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. It may feel empty. Meaningless. Pointless. Fruitless. But the fact that you are reading these words, wherever you are, is an absolute miracle and I am amazed and ever grateful that you are. It means I am not alone. I am not empty or meaningless. It means the love I send out into the world is being received which also means that you are being loved.

Once you stop expecting miracles from outside and accept that you are the miracle you’ve been waiting for you start treating yourself with the care and compassion you deserve and things begin to change.

Instead of waiting around to win the lottery you become grateful for what you have no matter how meager or extravagant. You discover that money has no real meaning. Yes, we all have bills and need to eat and pay rent but do we really need the brand new car? The too big house with the too big payment? Not really. We buy them either because they make us look good or make us feel good and then we pray for a suitcase of money to pay for them.

When you see yourself as a miracle you start to respect yourself. Treat yourself with honor and dignity. You even begin to love yourself and no longer “need” love from someone else but want to share it. To extend yourself and commit yourself to making your life and the life of others or another, your partner, better, and in doing so make your own life better.

It’s like this perpetually expanding flood of miracles begins to happen. The things you really need, love, self-respect, positive self image, courage, faith, hope, all begin to manifest and as those things affect others you find people drawn to you and more good things happen. The miracle spreads and mixes and creates and manifests new feelings and new opportunity and new people. People like you; miracles.

Stop waiting around for a miracle because you are the miracle!

Live like it.

 

 

Image by Gentry Ann

not broken

I know you
I know why it is you cry at night
How you believe there’s no one who’s right
For you
No one at all
No one who loves
No one who cares
No one you can share
All your pains and sorrows
Your joys and your dreams of tomorrows
No one who answers
When you shout with all you soul
“Where are you?!”
I know you believe you are alone
I know you feel empty
Isolated in your empty home
I know the words you say
The prayers you pray
Why it is you feel this way
Why it is you keep believing
You are not good enough
Why it is you continue seeing
You
Unwanted
Unworthy
Imperfect
Rejected
I know your insecurities
How you feel you lack maturity
Your shame
Your guilt
Your silent threats
Spoken in times of consuming darkness
How you think your life is hopeless
How you think that you are broken
I know you
I know you better than anyone
I know
because I am you
We are the same
You and I
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried
How many times I wished I’d died
The intensity of the pain inside
The loss of self
The loss of pride
The stories I’ve told myself
to keep my Self in line
with what I believe to be true
but I’ve learned
they are all lies
All of them
Lies
You are worthy
You are so very worthy
You deserve to be loved
You deserve to be loved
You deserve it, Love
You should be treated better
Who you’ve been
Doesn’t matter
You should be treated better
by You
You have nothing to be ashamed of, Love
Nothing to take blame of
You are not unclaimed, Love
You have nothing to be sorry for
Nothing at all
We all make mistakes, Love
We all feel that ache, Love
Sometimes
some of us,
myself included,
(no one is precluded)
keep making the same mistakes
over and over
feeling like we’re never getting closer
So many times, in fact
we think it’s “normal”
and spend our life performing
the parts we manifest
instead of just being our best
and forgetting
our best it always good enough
Always good enough
You are always good enough, Love
The one you see
The one you think you’re being
when you see You broken
isn’t who you’re meant to be
even though it’s all you see
it’s not who I see
you are much more
more than you believe
so much more than you believe
more than the life you lead
more than what’s been handed you
more than what’s been forced on you
more than you know
but I know
I know
That person isn’t you
Those are just things
Things that happen
Things that happen to us
Things that happen to all of us
We are not defined by them
But by how we respond to them
So forgive yourself
Please forgive yourself, Love
You are not broken
Not damaged
Not broken
Not useless
Not broken
You are perfect
In your imperfections
Just take a look
at that beautiful reflection
You are perfect
I love you just the way you are;
not broken

Tuesday, 4:30 am

I wake before the sun

Slip quietly out of the bed I’d rather stay in

Walk silently to the bathroom down the hall

Careful not to wake you

I think of you, not forty feet away,

Blissfully asleep as I shower

I imagine waking you with the passion that is yours

Only yours

I step from the hot shower and write your name in the steamy mirror

Smile

Wipe it off and see the man you love looking back at me

I never knew this man before you

Not completely

I know him now

He amazes me as much as you do

He amazes me because he would not exist without you

You have made him better than he ever imagined

I dress in silence

Walk to the kitchen

Make a cup of coffee

Toast

Something healthy to bring with

Always something healthy

So I can live longer with you

I write a note and leave it on the blender

Knowing you’ll see it and smile

Knowing you will think of me and I will smile

I walk to the bedroom in darkness

Sit on the edge of the bed

Breathe you in

Then bend to kiss you softly as I let my hands explore

One touches your face and strokes your hair with adoration

The other slips down your body

Seeks out and finds your treasure

Probes and caresses

You purr and moan lightly

As I remind you of your day

And the love I carry

Always

I taste my fingers and offer you a lingering kiss

Passionate and deep

Another reminder

Of what will come tonight

Then leave for work

With your taste in my mouth

The feel of you on my skin

Your fire in my soul

And love in my heart

No news is good news

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“News”
Is a modern thing
Based on gossip
And lies
Sent on waves unseen
Carried by sponsors
Who want me to buy
The product they proclaim
Will make my life better
So long as I listen
Or watch
With horror
The news designed
To modify my thoughts

So I don’t

I don’t need anyone to tell me
“The world is ending!”
If that day comes
I won’t need to be told at all
Not at all

Instead I create this place
Where there is no hate
Where there are no lies
No commercials
No sponsors
No hate
No one to tell me “You must”
“You should”
“You can’t”
Only Love
And the intentions of Love
Because nothing else matters